don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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