quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
