Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
