so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
