I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
