god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize