never play flip cup with pint glasses
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize