3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
