i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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