so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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