take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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