I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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