Got a toothbrush?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
