no, he came in my armpit
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
