if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it glows. i had to have it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
