I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
