I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
