Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
