Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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