I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
