she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
