We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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