Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
