Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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