Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
