so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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