dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I am mentally ready for anal.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
