when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
