White coat. Heels.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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