haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Randomize
