Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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