Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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