wanna go halves on a baby?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize