so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
