I skipped work to stalk him.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
