So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
