I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
