id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize