he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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