He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You dont lie about slip and slides
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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