So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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