Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
