1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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