just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
