hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
