my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
