I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Girls should come with a carfax report
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
