Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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