I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
