Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
