Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
