ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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