I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
