We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
