I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
