I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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