U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's shark week go big or go home
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
