His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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