kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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