Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
