Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
and she was petting her beer can
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
